So, here i am- sedentary, all vessels rigged with caffeine and ruminating about nothing. tough call especially for someone who vowed to pursuing his goals. talk is not cheap, really. i contemplated on deleting all the things i chronicled here in WP as well as from 2-3 other blogsites that i painfully maintain. there is just nothing to write. i am fed on writing about myself. right now, i just want to escape, fly, away, to that limbo that i prayed about last night-” LORD, i know you are always with me. within me. i want to live a life that you want me to live. i want to rise above all my self-doubts, faithlessness, cynicism and all shades of negativism. lead me, LORD. i pray for strength, courage, faith and wisdom. i got nothing else, but you. please save me”. that was it. i want to start anew. to have a renewed heart. maybe i’m burned out from all the work and studying, but hey! i am a machine, a mean one (wahahahaha!0). anyway, i need a refresher. probably another 2-3 km run. sh#$$! flight of ideas… losing grip. yeah! weight loss. at 30, 31 in approximately 26 days(woot woot), i weigh 54-55 kg with a BMI of 22-23. the last weight-check showed an increase of flank/abdominal fat/body fat from last year- 19.3 to 22.8. i am now the epitome of the fat, short, bald grumpy man(i prefer to be called, “kid”). for every endeavor, i believe that there should be a plan of sort. before the plan, a rationale. so, here’s why:
1. strong family history of diabetes mellitus- 2 aunts, 2 uncles, cousins, dogs and tabby cats
2. hypertension and cardiac problems in the family
3. shifting moods and indescribable affect
4. control. need control. M-U-S-T control.
5. aesthetic reasons. yup, i’m mr. vanity today. if i live tomorrow, maybe i won’t, but today, yea, give it to me baby!
6. i need it. my gist clamors for it for no particular reason. so, there goes my short list.
whatever…
next, the PLAN!!!!
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