I am going to try this one more time – I have started blogs several times and never carried through however I think this time is different. Of course, in a month from now this is an updated piece of the webospehere we will know I didn’t follow through yet again.
The reason why I think it is different this time is things are changing for me. I am taking some things more seriously and there is positive change and growth on the horizon for me. I also think I have some unique perspectives which while I am not willing to put it out there who I really I am I still want to share them.
On Sept. 10th of this year, I weighed 306lbs and had just been rejected as harshly as ever in my life. It was a low point – a new low point in a life with many others. In that moment I made a decision that was the day I decided it was a good to make a change. All right I guess I should come clean about the rejection – I went on a date with a woman and I really liked her. Now, I have dated women well out of my league my entire life and this one wasn’t really all the special. However, a few days later she informs me of the following: “I am attracted to you emotionally and intellectually but I am not attracted to you physically. I don’t know if that can change.” It was like being kicked in the balls, slapped in the face and having hairs pulled one by one from your leg – all together not my best moment.
Since that date I have lost 24lbs and now weigh 282lbs. This morning I ran the better part of 2 miles which would not have been possible when I started this process. I am hoping to lose another 10lbs by the end of the calendar year. I cannot stop – it is time for me to grow.
I have struggled with binge eating my entire life (with no purging mind you). It is a common story among fat people. I eat when I am happy, I eat when I am lonely, I eat when I am sad, I eat when I am mad, I eat when I fart – we get it people…we eat. I have been this way my entire life. I am 33 years old and single.
However, I need to make sure you understand I am not the sad dejected fat kid who is hiding in his basement playing video games stifling his emotions with Cheetos and soda. I am exceptionally successful in my career, I have a ludicrous salary, I have dated many women – more than I typically admit. I am outgoing and nearly always at the certain of the chaos. This has been an exceptionally enjoyable life but it can be better and I can be happier with myself and my situation. The happiness I seek won’t come from possessions or money or getting a woman who is entirely out of my league to come home with me. My happiness is entirely reliant on me being happy with me.
This is where we are. I am re-discovering my passion for truly connecting with people. I am discovering my passion for being a healthy and happy man. I am realizing the focus of my life has been skewed – too much career, too much success, too much on climbing the ladder. I want to refocus my life on doing good and helping others. Teaching and learning willingly. Living up to the potential of who I am.
No regrets. No hesitation. Forward motion.
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