1130p
I ate my last meal around 630/7pm.
I’m going to bed now, around 1130pm.
I’m HHUUUNNNGGRRYYY!!!
And I’ve been hungry for the past 3 hours or so. It’s not the end of the world, it’s not an emergency…but it’s really annoying! The good things about getting up early and exercising are that you have a longer day, and you have energy all day that just slowly fades instead of crashing into a food coma. The bad things are that the day lasts for what seems like FOREVER, and you run out of food hours before bedtime! Sigh…
Last night I had a dream about cleaning out an almost empty jar of Peanut Butter with my face. It was really funny. I stuck my head into a little jar of peanut butter and was scooping up the rest of the peanut butter, it was like I had a shrunken head because it fit inside this little tiny container!
I was kind of enjoying myself, and then I thought “Oh no! I’ve blown my calories for today!”
But then I thought “Oh wait, this is a dream, because it’s impossible for my head to be in this jar anyway…”
So then I thought, “Well, if it’s a dream, that means there’s no calories, so go for it!”
But then I thought, “No! I can’t do that, because then I’ll wake up and be all bingey, and want to overeat today! That’s baadd!”
Then I thought, “You know what…if I can’t have fun in my dreams, where can I have fun? Go for it, and see if it makes you crazy when you wake up! Okay? Okay!”
So, I went for it, and I went “yum, yum, yum! chomp, chomp chomp! lick lick lick!”, and I was filled with joy as my imaginary mouth filled with high calorie sugared fat! And when I woke up, I was very happy, and laughing! I had all the emotional joy of pigging out with none of the guilt!
I’m glad I loosened up…maybe I’ll have another dream like that tonight. Is it bad when you’re having food dreams? My body is trying to tell me I’m not eating enough to maintain my fatness…I wish my conscious brain could talk to my subconscious brain sometimes….this whole weight loss thing is rather intentional.
Sigh…well, I have an early morning. Nighty night!
J.
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