Yesterday I went to my first real workout in over like.. a year maybe? I think I went to one hot yoga class a long ass time ago with my girl in San Diego, but generally my exercise consists of walking 2.0 miles two times a week and yoga on sundays. I know its better than nothing, but if I want to lose weight, I know I have to workout at least 4 -5 times a week.
I’ve always been athletic (used to run 5 miles bout 4 days a week in college) and until the past 8 years, was always very active. Its like, I moved to the Bay and something in me snapped and I stopped giving a damn, and here I am, 40 lbs later, pissed off. So when I say “real” workout, I mean one where I’m sweating, I’m pushing myself and I’m working hard and having fun. I used to kickbox on a regular, and then when I moved to the bay, I found the MOST amazing kickboxing gym, Pacific Ring Sports, but now I cant afford it. That’s neither here nor there, the point is about intensity. My walking and my gentle yoga class ain’t cuttin it. I tried to start running again, but.. I stopped. I’m considering doing the Oakland Marathon Relay with some friends.
The intensity of the workout with McBody reminded me of a few things. (1) how powerfully my emotional ‘even-ness’ is connected to me working out my frustrations in a deeply physical way, (2) how much I love to move my body, (3) how much I need a teacher pushing me.
Actions:
I’m slowly reading through McBody’s blogroll, trying to have at least one thing a day to keep to centered and mindful. Today, I found this blog, Prior Fat Girl. One thing she said that struck me was, “If you want something bad enough, you will do the work.”. And on one level, its so simply, like duh, of course. Its like that with anything in life. So how badly do I want this? Well, pretty bad. I’m just scared so badly that I cant do it and I’ll just be this way forever.
I haven’t measured myself yet, or bought a scale.
But I did log back into my Spark People account which I started over a year ago so I could get my goals down again ‘in stone’ and start logging my food. I think I’m going to have to work out (much like my meditation and writing time) how to take 15 mins a day to log my food and focus on my body either reading or finding good recipes.
No comments:
Post a Comment