Day 10
Days to go: 355
Miles Walked: 10
Miles to go: 990
It isn’t every day you realize you are living a metaphor.
When I started this journey, just 10 short days ago, that first walk felt like an act of faith akin to Columbus setting sail for the West Indies or the Apollo astronauts shooting for the moon.
(Ok…maybe it wasn’t quite that dramatic. I enjoy using words to their fullest effect, so it’s reasonable to suspect I might be coloring it up a bit.)
Still, it was a definite step outside my comfort zone. I started mile one with energy and optimism and ended it feeling as though I had crawled through the proverbial dessert on my knees. The final steps of that first mile required me to pull from resources I had not tapped in a very long time. I completed that mile in just under 40 minutes.
This evening, I completed mile ten in 22 minutes – and unlike the end of that first mile, I’m fairly certain that passing neighbors were not tempted to call paramedics to my rescue.
Sure, I’m still not a speed walker, but the point is, I am getting stronger – strong enough that I’ve begun to ask Jesus when we should add some distance to our daily walks.
I really believe the strength I am gaining in my physical walk is a metaphor, a picture of the work He is doing in my heart and spirit. I can sense it, and it excites me. It feels like things are shifting around inside of me. I am hopeful for the first time in a long time. I am becoming more and more determined and confident. Every day that I walk with Jesus, every day that He speaks to me about these things I’ve kept hidden from Him and everyone who has ever tried to love me, I feel a little more healed, a little stronger, a little more like the woman I’ve hoped to be – the one I’ve always felt my addictions disqualified me from ever becoming.
We had a really fun walk today, Jesus and I. I found myself doing this strange sort of skip-hop thing every once in a while, rocking back on my left foot and then to my right.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to skip. Skipping requires the ability to go airborne – to defy gravity – even if only for a split second. What I did tonight wasn’t a full-fledged skip, but it was a hint, foreshadowing of one. I even extended my arms, pretending to fly for just a bit. I knew the Lord was walking right beside me. I could sense his delight like warm sunlight across my cheeks.
I was channeling little “Kristi” from my hometown of Hamilton, Missouri, circa 1977. She’s had a lot of regrets since then, and I think Jesus was giving her a “do over.” Tonight, on mile ten, I was just a girl having fun.
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